Okay, we all know Halloween is just around the corner, and it can be a sexy, scary time of year indeed. But who in the fuck were these products intended for? Anyhow without farther a due here are 7 strange pumpkin spice added products I found online.
Pumpkin Condoms
Do you want to get into the Sexy Halloween Spirit, maybe lick up some of that sweet, sexy pumpkin juice from your Frankenstein lover's... You know. well, your in luck, with the new Pumpkin spice condom you can have all the sexy Halloween spirit you can handle and more. Now I know what you may be thinking, that maybe this could be fun, I won't disagree with that. but honestly how many people have you met in your life that have said. "You know what! I really feel like sucking pumpkin spice off some guys dick right now." Cause I sure as hell haven't met any.
Tired of the same old fresh forest and fruity scented tampons covering the market, well why not try something new this Halloween and get a little pumpkin in your panties, Pumpkin spice Tampons are a wonderful way to freshen up this October, and cramp in all the Holiday cheer into a small package, now don't that sound like a bloody good time or so this product seems to think.
Are you having troubles in the bathroom this fall, unable to get all the upcoming Halloween excitement pushed through to the other side of that watery grave? well good news, with these wonderful pumpkin spiced Laxatives we'll have you shitting Jack'o lanterns in no time at all. Simply take one out of its package and gently shove it up your Butt for quick results. And in even better news, your farts will have that pumpkin fresh smell all Halloween long.
I'm honestly unsure of what to say here, I didn't know rats and mice were so into pumpkin spice. Now I just feel bad for whatever poor girl is sleeping with a Pumpkin Tampon or anyone with a pumpkin Laxative up there ass, cause them rats and mice, you know if they can find a hole they'll get in there.
Do you find your self extra hot every time you see a beautiful, sexy, round, orange, Pumpkin, well than Halloween must be your favorite time of year as well? And you may also be a sitophilia. If you don't know what that is, its a sexual attraction to food. On an odd note: if you're hard up for redheads then your a pumpkin ponder. Anyway if you get off to Pumpkins than PronKins is the thing for you. Giving you that pumpkin carving ability to make your pumpkins as sexy as you can get them. now available with a pumpkin spice spray so you can really get yourself going.
Now, after all the dirty pumpkin fun, you should consider giving yourself a good cleaning out, cause you know, no one likes to shove it in only to have their stiff one covered in pumpkin butter, and what better to use for this then a Massengill Disposable Douche designed for getting rid of all that leftover gooey pumpkin cream pie. simply open the package fill bag with water, put the hose on tight and insert into whichever crevasse you want to be cleansed and lightly scented with pumpkin spice a treat I'd say for both you and your wolfman.
After finishing up with all your pumpkin fun you really need to consider your oral hygiene, and grab yourself some Pumpkin spice Listerine strips so you have pumpkiny fresh breath for the next friend you pick up off the sidewalk. You Halloween Horndog, you.
Hey, if you're reading this then you made it to the bottom, so why not feel free to leave a comment telling me which one of these products you found the strangest.
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